Not Quite Human
by Crimson Anna
Summary: This is my take on Jenner's message to Rick at the CDC ... definite AU! Also it's a definite BRICK! If when reading this you find anything out of order, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me! I know it wasn't written in sequence, and I tried to keep it together the best I could. PS Chp 6 just got a MAJOR upgrade
1. Chapter 1

"You're not human anymore," he whispers into my ear. "The closest thing I can say is that you're now a werewolf."

I sat there numbly as the chaos around me kept going at a blistering pace. I look around to see where Carl and Lori are, then over to Shane and Daryl working to try and get the door open. I look back at Jenner … how did this happen to me?

I get up and go over to him, grabbing his arm. "How did this happen to me!"

"It's a product of this virus and you being in a coma. The virus didn't know how to deal with your 'condition' because you were not dead and you weren't alive. It began to change you in ways that would be fascinating to study if we had the time."

I back away and look at him, now all the tests made sense. "You want to turn me into some sort of lab animal, run tests and shit on me."

"It would be nice to know how it mutated your body," he says in a hushed voice. "Look, I have no idea how this is going to affect you. I can't tell you what to expect and what not to. All I can say is get it under control as fast as you can."

"How do I do that!" I hiss.

"Control your anger, don't let it control you," he tells me.

"How the hell am I supposed to do that!" I snarl at him.

"Just do it and get the hell out of here!" he snaps at me as the countdown continues.

"RICK!" Shane calls out. "We need help on this door brother!"

Staring at Jenner, I literally snarl at him before taking off. In that instance, I felt like a wolf. I actually heard how I sounded. Running up to the door, I shove Daryl and Shane aside and dig my hands into it. I feel my fingernails hardening, lengthening, as I dig them into the door and shove it open as hard as I can.

"Damn man, what did he do to you?" Shane asks, touching my shoulder.

"Let's just get the hell out of here," I snarl and look back at Jenner.


	2. Chapter 2

"You didn't answer my question!" Dale snaps.

"I don't have to answer you!" I snap back.

"Ever since the CDC, you have been acting weird. What did that Jenner man tell you? What does it have to do with us?" Dale questions.

"It has nothing to do with us, it has to do with me," I growl softly. "Dale please, just leave me alone."

"Are you sicker than we know?" Dale asks. "If you are putting this camp in danger …!"  
"I am doing EVERYTHING to protect this camp!" I snarl as I spin on him.

"I see you leaving the tent at night, and I hear that damn beast in the distance. What are you doing? Going out and hunting it alone? Hershel and I thought we had it the other night but it got gone. Beth showed up and scared it away," Dale hisses. "Please Rick, that is nothing but a beast and a monster out there roaming around. Don't try hunting it on your own, it could kill you."

That monster he's referring to is me, that beast is me. It's all I can do to stand here and listen to him because he's making my blood boil. How dare he be so damn condescending about what I do at night? How dare he watch me!

"Rick man, look I am sorry but it's not safe. This place is huge, walkers could show up at any time. We have to be careful," Dale says, laying his hand on my shoulder. "Did you and Lori have an argument or something? You look like you're about to pop a blood vessel."

"I am just irritated is all, I apologize for snapping at you." I apologize for not snapping your head off is more like it.

"Why don't you go over and sit on the porch for awhile?" Dale smiles, patting my shoulder. "It'll be all right."

"I sincerely doubt it, but what the hell," I muse and take off walking.

I stroll across the yard, watching the others working as I head up the steps. I look over and there sits Beth with her feet curled up underneath her reading a book. "Mind if I join you up here?"

"Not a problem," she smiles and pats the swing. "You can sit beside me." I sit beside her and look out around the yard. I lean back as she hands me a glass of tea. I take it from her and take a long drink before handing it back. "Keep it."

"Have you been hearing the howling at night?" I ask, sitting the glass down.

"Yea, it's a wolf," she replies, turning the page. "I'm glad it's here."  
I look over at her. "Really, why?"

"Wolves are a natural carnivore, a predator, like the walkers. Who knows maybe the walkers will see it as a bigger predator than they are and back off," she muses softly, pushing her hair behind her ear. She looks over at me. "I'm glad my daddy and Dale didn't get a chance to shoot it the other night."

"Me too," I reply. Does she know?

"I feel a lot safer now with it roaming around," she says, adjusting herself on the swing. Closing the book, she lays it on the table. She suddenly changes positions and curls up next to me, laying her head on my shoulder.

"Beth …"  
"I feel safe around you, I know with you here nothing bad will happen to us," she says softly, "just like I know the wolf will never let anything happen to us."

"It might not be as good as you think," I muse before slipping my arm around her.

She lays down in my lap, looking out over the yard. "Wolves aren't bad, didn't you know that. Wolves are the sign of strength, honor, loyalty. A wolf will lay its life down to protect its mate and family."

"If you say so," I mutter, running my hand over her hair.

"Does it bother you with me laying here? If it does, I'll move," she tells me.

"No, you're fine. Close your eyes if you want to," I tell her.

"Okay, I think I will. I don't feel all that well," she tells me.

"What's wrong?" I ask, growing concerned.

"Well, I am a vegetarian and I don't like the taste of meat. Daddy keeps telling me I need to eat it, but if you can't stomach the taste of it why eat it? Anyway, there are times I get weak and don't feel well," she confides.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I tell her. I notice her shiver slightly so I pull my jacket off and wrap it around her. "Close your eyes and rest now, you're safe."  
"I know I am," she says and looks up at me. "If and when you see the wolf, tell him I said thank you for protecting us."

She lays her head back down and falls asleep. I begin to rock gently as I sit there as the breeze blows around me. I look down and run my hand through her hair gently. "You're welcome Beth," I whisper softly.


	3. Chapter 3

I climb the steps slowly, hearing the soft creaking under my feet. I step out onto the floor and walk down the hall. I knock on the door softly before entering. I look around and see her finally, lying on her side in bed. She's so pale that she almost blends into the sheets. I walk over and sit beside her. I reach my hand down and run it through her hair. "Hi," I smile. "How are you?"

"I've been better," she says softly.

There are dark circles under her eyes from where she's been crying. I lift her arm from under the covers, holding her hand as I look at her wrist wrapped in gauze and tape. I run my fingers over it gently as I reach out, touching her hair.

"Are you going to yell at me too?" she asks.

"Nope," I tell her. "It was your decision to make, it's your life. Beth, I know that things are not the way they were. I can tell you're scared, but you don't need to be. I am here to protect you and everyone on the farm. I promise I won't let anything happen to you."  
"I know, I believe you," she replies and wipes her tears away. "Would you lay down beside me and hold me for a little bit till I fall asleep."

I take my boots off and climb onto the bed, atop the covers and pull her into my arms. I lay my chin on her shoulder as my hand runs over her arm. She's so small, so fragile, and I wish there was something more I could do for her. "Am I holding you too tight?"  
"No."

"Do you mind if I tell you something that has to stay between me and you?"

"Sure."

"I get scared a lot now, more than I was before. I used to be a deputy, and I would worry every time I went out on a call. I got shot and I woke up alone in a hospital, not knowing what had happened to the world. I left the hospital in nothing but my hospital gown and boxers, I had to get home to find out what happened to Carl and Lori. I was scared I would never see them again, but in time I found them.

"I was happy to be back with them, but I was still scared something would happen and I couldn't stop it. It scares me to be out of control, but I am learning to get it back slowly. It's okay to be scared about being out of control with your life. None of us were prepared for what happened to the world around us. I'm glad your dad was here to help Carl. That scared me more than I let on.

"I have often thought about how things would be without me around, I even thought about laying down and dying a few times but then I got back up. You want to know why? It's because I have people around that need me to be strong for them. I know you may not think or feel that way, but your dad and sister need you to be strong for them, whether they say it or not. Does any of this make sense?"

"Yea it does." She looks at me. "Thank you."

"Now, close your eyes and drift off to sleep. Don't be scared or worried if I'm not here, I'll be around. If you ever need someone to just sit with or talk to, you can come to me. I won't judge, I won't get angry. I'll listen and I'll try to help you through it. Deal?"

She nods as her eyes begin to drift shut. I prop up on one arm to watch her. She finally drifts off into a peaceful slumber as we lay there. Maybe this is another reason for me to be this way, maybe I am here to help protect her as well. Maybe instead of laying waste to my soul like I thought, maybe it's rebuilding my soul a little bit at a time. This precious young girl feels like she has nothing to live for but she does. I don't want her to lose that inner peace and light that makes her infectious to be around. I don't know if you're listening to me or not, but please God let me in some small part help Beth to start healing. Please. I slide my other arm around her, holding her protectively as I drift off to sleep without another thought.

When I wake up, Beth is still asleep. I slide my arms out from her and lean over, picking up my shoes. I exit quietly and shut the door easily. As I put my shoes on, Hershel is standing there looking at me.

"She's asleep," I tell him.

"I know, I came to check on her earlier and heard you two talking."

"How much did you overhear?"

"Enough." He holds his hand out to me. "Thank you."  
I take his hand and grip it. "No, thank you."


	4. Chapter 4

I hear the tent unzip, she was back. I look up and … it's Beth. "What are you doing in here? You'd better leave."  
She zips the tent back up and comes over to me. She stands there, wearing a sundress which is something I've never seen her in before. "Where is everyone?" she asks.

"Daryl, Andrea, Shane and Dale are on a supply run. Glenn is with Maggie probably, and I have no idea where Carl and Lori are. They might be with Carol, I really don't care."

She fluffs her dress and sits on the cot. "Doesn't it get too hot in here for you?"

"Sometimes, but sometimes it's perfect." I look over at her. "You never answered me. What are you doing in here?"

"I came to see you. I came to see how you're feeling."

"I'm fine, why do you ask?"  
"Lori said you were still asleep when it came time for breakfast. I was hoping you weren't sick or anything. I just came to check on you."  
"I'm just really tired and aggravated right now. I'm not a nice person to be around now."

"You're fine, it will all work out just calm down."

I look down, my hands are shaking for no reason. I try to get them to stop, but I can't. She comes over and sits beside me, laying her hands on mine. She's wearing a light perfume, dressing pretty but why? It is for me? But why? She's pretty, quite pretty even beautiful. She's very demure, very easy going, she doesn't let things get to her. It's what I actually need right now, she's what I need right now. Now where the hell did that come from?

She sits there, holding my hands and rubbing them gently. "What's on your mind?"

"Nothing really," I tell her. "You look very nice. I like that sundress on you."  
"Thank you. All my other clothes are on the line, so this is the only thing I had to put on. Daddy told me I look pretty."  
"You look very pretty."  
"Thanks."

"You're more than pretty, you're quite lovely."  
She blushes and pushes her hair behind her ear. "It's nice to hear someone say that. All I get is pretty and cute, I've never been told I'm lovely before."

I smile and take her hand. I lift it up and sniff the pulse point. "I love the smell of this perfume on you, it's quite intoxicating actually."  
"Did I put on too much?"  
"No, just enough. What scent is this?"  
"It's what left of some my mom had. I loved the way it smelled on her so I thought I would try a little on me."

"Well it works quite nicely." It works too nicely, she's making me intoxicated, almost light-headed being near her.

I want to feel her touching me … clear your mind man! This is Hershel's youngest daughter! I look at her and realize how much she's grown up since we first came here. I like the way she's holding my hands in hers. I like the way her touch makes me feel. What is she doing? "Beth, what are you …?"

"Shh," she whispers into my ear. I watch her rise as she moves to stand behind me. Her light fingers begin to massage my shoulders gently, working through the kinks and knots of stress built up. I let out a soft moan by mistake, which she takes as encouragement to continue. I straighten up so and let her work; Lori would never do this for me. She's too busy trying to manipulate me and Shane into getting at one another. Lori, my supposed wife and the master manipulator. "Is that too hard?" she asks softly.

"No," I breathe softly.

That did it … she presses her lips to my neck and it was like a jolt of electricity through my veins. I stand up and turn abruptly, grabbing hold of her and kissing her without thought or reservation. She's warm and pliant in my arms, giving in so eagerly.

I lift my head from hers and look at the smile radiating on her face. "Did you enjoy it?"  
"Tons," she purrs softly. "May I have another before anyone comes in?"

I lean over and press my lips back to hers and she opens her lips to me. My tongue slips into her mouth as hers slips into mine. She's making it hard to let her go, she's making me hard just being here. I slide my arm down her back and press her to me, letting her feel what she's doing to me. In response, she puts her arms around my neck and holds onto me.

I lift my lips from hers and she presses a light kiss on my cheek. "I'm glad you're feeling better, I saved you some food up at the house when you're ready."

"We have …"  
"I said I saved you some food. Now, get yourself together and come up to the house and eat when you're ready."

She walks over and unzips the tent and leaves, zipping it behind her. I watch her walk off slowly through the field; she leans over and picks a flower growing and sniffs it as she continues to walk.

Damn Beth, what are you playing at?


	5. Chapter 5

She sits across from me on the cot, hands threaded between her legs. She keeps looking down, she's scared about something. "Can I tell you something and you won't think less of me?"

"Beth … I could never think less of you."

"Rick, you don't know what I've done."

I turn and face her. "Talk to me then, tell me what's wrong. We can talk to Hershel together about …"  
"Daddy's part of the problem."

What could this girl have done to make Hershel so upset with her? There's not a mean bone in her body. "Does Maggie know about this?"  
"Yep, she says I got what I deserved."

Now none of this makes sense. "There is not a mean bone in your body, and if something happened to you then who are they to sit in judgment like that."

"It's not that simple." She goes to rise. "Sorry to have bothered you."

I take hold of her hands and she sits back down. "I'll listen and I promise not to judge you. Sorry about the outburst."

"Okay, let's start with this then." She stands up, pulls her shirt up and turns around. Displayed across her lower back is a tattoo … a large blue, purple, silver and black butterfly tattoo. She backs up closer for me to look at it; upon my closer inspection, I see skulls in the wings. Whoever did this for her had talent; I run my hand over my mouth before reaching out and touching her skin. I trace the outline with my fingers, which I note sends shivers of pleasure over her skin. "Do you like it?"  
"It is gorgeous actually, I like the touch with the skulls too."  
"Thanks." She lowers her shirt slowly before turning around. She sits back on the cot and licks her lips. "I am a childless mother."

"How …"  
"He would be three if he survived."

"How old was he when he died?"  
"Three hours. He lived for three hours." Reaching into her pocket, she pulls something out with a trembling hand. Tears roll down her cheeks as she holds her hand out to me. I reach out and she lays the tiniest arm bracelet in the world in my hand before drawing hers back. I hold it up, letting it slide down my pinkie. "How far along were you?"  
"Seven months. His heart wasn't fully developed and he died, there was nothing they could do for him."

"What did you name him?"  
"Shawn … Shawn Michael after my brother." She licks her lips. "I'm also a widow." I look over at her as she pulls her necklace out. A silver heart hangs there, with a thin gold band looped beside it. "He died nine hours after our son did."

I get up and move to her side, sitting down and pulling her into my arms. I feel her gentle tears begin to flow as I rocked her slowly. "How old were you?"  
"I had just turned 14 when I found out I was pregnant; Daniel, he was 16 and a friend of Maggie's. When he found out, he took me to a clinic and we tried to have an abortion. When they told me I was too far along, he made up his mind to marry me. After he turned 17, we went to the courthouse and got married by a justice of the peace. We were on our way back here to tell daddy and everyone when we were rear-ended and knocked into the oncoming lane. The force of the impact caused me to go into labor; we made it to the hospital the same time as momma and daddy. Daniel said he was fine, so he and momma stayed with me because it happened too fast."

She sits up and dries her eyes with her fingers. "He was born twenty minutes after the accident and when he came out, he was blue. The doctors told us that his heart had not had time to form properly and he wouldn't last long. We named him Shawn Michael and had him baptized in the hospital chapel. We went back to my room and sat there with him. Daddy wouldn't have anything to do with him, but momma loved him. The three of us sat there together, each one holding him then Maggie showed up and started yelling at me. Momma slapped her and told her I didn't need to hear any of it because my baby was dying. Maggie said it was the best damn thing to happen to me and stomped off. When he drew his last breath, I was holding him and he looked at me with such love in his tiny little eyes. Daniel and I had him cremated and we were going to sprinkle his ashes when I got out of the hospital the next day. Later that night, he developed a horrible headache and came back to the hospital. They said he had a blood clot to form from the accident, and suddenly it moved and went to his heart … it killed him, they couldn't stop it."

She lays her hand on mine as I reach out and dry her eyes. "When I got out of the hospital the next day, momma came to get me. I went to see his parents and to tell them how sorry I was and that I had loved him. They didn't want anything to do with me, they even told me I had no right to come to the funeral. Momma told them we were married and I had a say in it, but they said that since we hadn't been married a full 24 hours I didn't have a say. I came home broken and lonely, with nothing but a small box and this ring left of my life.

"Momma and I scattered my son's ashes in her flower bed so I could look out my window and always think of him. When dad came home that day, he told me that I had to return to my life as normal. I would go back to school, I would rejoin the church youth group and I would devote my life to doing good works. Daddy said I would have to carry the sin of having a baby so young for the rest of my life. He said it was because of that sin is the reason Daniel died and I survived, though he wished it had been the other way around."

"Wait, Hershel said he wished you had died and not Daniel. Why?"  
"He said I was a harlot and I got what I deserved. My illicit ways had cost someone their life, someone caught up in my sins."

I pull her into my arms and hold her to me, running my hand through her hand. Inside me, the wolf is growling and snarling so loud that I want it to come out. I cannot believe what I have heard, but then I haven't heard Hershel's side of the story yet. If what she says is true, then I may have to reconsider how I view this man.

The tent unzips as Lori steps inside. "Well, aren't you two just cozy."

I rise with Beth in my arms. "She needed a friend."

"And you just had to be the one."

Before I can even think, my hand shoots out and grabs her throat. I move to face her, and I can tell by her expression she's seeing the wolf GOOD for the first time.

"Do NOT begin to presume you have ANY clue as to what is going on. Now, mind your own damn business," I hiss at her then let her go.

"Rick," Beth says, touching my arm.

"I don't know you anymore." Lori staggers backwards then bolts from the tent. I put my arms back around Beth and stand there, holding her to me. I leave one arm around her as we walk out of the tent. I look over and see Lori standing with Shane as we walk to the house. I lay my hand on Beth's hip, holding her to me.

"You did nothing wrong, believe me. You fell in love and lost your virginity too early, and you paid the price by getting pregnant." I slide the tiny bracelet off my pinkie and give it back to her. "For Hershel to say you got what you deserved was wrong, especially to say to his daughter. You did nothing wrong, nothing at all except live your life. I bet Maggie has done far far worse things than that."

"Yep," she says quietly.

Instead of walking to the farmhouse, I divert her towards the flower bed. We walk over and stand there together. I look over my shoulder and see Dale approaching. He stands beside us and looks down.

"What's going on?" he asks.

"Beth was introducing me to her son Shawn. His ashes are sprinkled here," I tell him.

"How old was he?" Dale asks.

"Three hours," Beth replies softly.

Carol walks over and slides her arms around Beth. "It's a hard thing, losing a child. He never had a chance to grow up, and you never got to see what kind of man he would become. I bet he was handsome."

"Very," Maggie suddenly says, walking up. She fishes in her pocket and hands something to Beth. "Here." Beth takes it and turns it over … it's a picture of her and a very small baby. "Daniel snuck and took it; he gave it to momma to give to you, but he never got the chance and neither did she. I found it earlier, then realized today would've been his birthday."  
"Today," I whisper, running my hand over my mouth.

"Shawn Michael Tate, my grandson," Hershel says, walking over with Glenn, Andrea and Daryl. "He was my grandson."

"Yes he was," Beth growls softly. "If you hadn't been so pigheaded, you could have held him before he died."  
"We know," Maggie says, wiping her eyes. "We held him afterwards." Beth looks to me then turns to them. "When he died, momma took him from you remember. She wrapped him in his blanket and carried him out in the hall. He was so tiny, so little; momma handed him to me first and explained what happened. I started crying, I had no idea what was happening; I sat down and held his precious little body and rocked him, knowing he was already gone."  
"Then she handed him to me, and it finally hit me what had happened … you didn't just lose a baby, you lost your son and I lost a grandson," Hershel says, wiping his face. "I had no idea how bad it was, your mother never told me. She was too busy being mad at me for treating you so horribly. Then, when we found out Daniel had died hours after the accident, it finally began to settle in the enormity of what had happened … you had been married, you gave birth, you lost your son and your husband all in the same day."  
By the time Hershel finished, everyone was there … including Lori and Shane. Wiping his eyes, Shane comes over and puts his arms around Beth, holding her close. "We are so sorry girl, so very sorry."

"Thank you," she whispers.

Lori slides her arm around my waist and kisses my cheek. "Just keep being you, okay."  
"Deal," I tell her softly.

Beth goes to Hershel and hugs him and Maggie as we stand there. I look down at the flowers, blooming big and bright. Daryl kneels and places a Cherokee rose in the ground; Andrea kneels and takes her cross necklace off and lays it over the flower.

"Happy Birthday Shawn," I say out loud.


	6. Chapter 6

I lay here, staring at her as she sleeps. I must be an idiot for still being here, laying between the sheets, shirtless of all things, with her this close to me. Hershel is going to kill me, I should kill me. Nothing happened between us, I'm just here.

I came up last night after prowling and killing walkers, covered in blood and guts. There was my towel and water waiting on me. As I wash off, I feel a pair of eyes on me. I look over and there she stands, illuminated in the moonlight.

She steps off the porch in her bare feet and comes over to me. She doesn't say anything, she just dips a rag in the water and starts cleaning my face. Why is she doing this? Why is she helping me like this? Does she know what I am? Does she even care? I don't think she does care about that, I think she only cares about me.

She wipes my face and neck gently, rinsing the rag and continuing to help clean me up. We hear the screen door and turn … there stands Hershel. He comes off the porch in his robe and slippers and comes over to us. He turns on a small overhead light and starts inspecting my cuts and scrapes, noticing how each one is healing with ease.

He pulls a rag from his pocket and wets it, washing my back for me. I watch them as they wipe my arms and hands then my chest, inspecting each cut with diligence before continuing. Hershel backs away and looks me over.

"You'll have to either leave these clothes outside and burn them or try and soak the blood out," he finally says. "How many did you kill?"  
"At least 10, maybe a few more," I say hoarsely.

"Do you want me to get you some clothes from the tent?" Beth asks.

"Don't, you'll wake Lori and Carl. I'm not in the mood for their looks and questions right now. I am tired and aching."

"I have some aspirin inside, if it will help," Hershel tells me.

"It probably will," I tell him.

"That shirt is done, let me burn it for you in the morning," Beth tells me.

"All right," I reply as I hand it to her.

She lays it up on the porch and comes back to me. "We have some leftovers. Do you want me to heat them for you? Are you even hungry?"

"I am and I'm not, does that make sense?" I ask.

"It does," Hershel says as Daryl and Dale walk up. "He's fine, he went hunting for walkers."  
"Damn dude," Daryl whistles. "I got a clean pair of jeans if you want them."

"Thanks," I tell him as he trots off.

"How many did you get?" Dale asks.

"10, maybe more."

"You're becoming a one man walker killing machine," Dale whistles as he takes the rag from Hershel. "Go back to bed, we got him."

"I'll heat your food," Hershel says, patting me on the shoulder. "I'll bring it out on the porch for you."  
"May I have some tea too?"

"Yes you may."

Daryl comes back over and hands me the jeans. I lay my hand on Beth's head and turn her around. She giggles softly and buries her face in the towel as I change pants. She holds her hand out for my jeans and I lay them out for her. "You can look now," I tell her. "Go back to bed."

"No," she says, turning around. "I am going to make sure you eat something first."

"What are you, my conscience or something?" I ask her.

"No, your guardian angel," she replies and heads to the porch.

"Now how did that happen?" Dale asks.

"Be damned if I know," I tell him. "Everyone else asleep?"

"Yea," Daryl says. "Did you run into our nocturnal friend or not?"

He means me. "Yea, it took out a larger pack of walkers that I didn't notice. It looked at me, nodded and took off."

"So it understood you weren't going to hurt it then?" Dale comments.

"Yea, it's not looking for people. It's hunting walkers," I explain.

"Well then we'll leave it alone from now on," Daryl grins.

Good, at least I won't have to be dodging bullets and arrows or explaining how the hell I accidentally got shot before I can heal. I walk up onto the porch and sit in the swing as Dale and Daryl leave. Beth is sitting there beside me as Hershel brings my food and tea out. I take the plate, grateful for leftovers and start to eat. Beth curls up beside me, not saying a word as Hershel heads back into the house. I eat in quiet, it's nice.

Hershel steps back onto the porch. "There's an empty room upstairs. You can sleep there tonight."  
"Thank you," I tell him.  
"Beth, go on to bed. He's fine."

"All right. Good night daddy, g'night Rick."  
"Good night Beth."

So, this is how I ended up in the wrong room laying in bed beside this beautiful blonde young woman softly sleeping beside me. As I go to rise, I feel her hand touch me. I look over as she smiles at me. "Stay if you want, you're fine."

"Your daddy will shoot me."

"My daddy's already looked in here twice. Now sleep."

I lay back down, pulling the cover over me as I lay on my side staring at her as she falls back to sleep. I need to … get some … sleep.

Morning comes and I awaken to an empty bed. I'm almost glad for that. As I sit up, Beth is in the door with a tray of food. "Here's breakfast." She walks over and sits the tray across my lap. She hands me my napkin before smiling, turning and leaving. Hershel steps into the room and looks at me.

"I know, I found the wrong room last night. I apologize."  
"Well, you would have been sleeping with Glenn if you'd gone where I'd said," he chuckles softly. "How did you sleep?"

"Like a baby."

He walks over and sits on the bed. "Well, she was up before me making breakfast for every-one, and threatening people not to eat it all because she had one more plate to make. She even ate herself. It surprised me and Maggie. Whatever you two talked about the other day seems to have worked on her. She seems to be back to normal, though I don't know what normal really means anymore."  
"She's going to be fine," I say, "but I don't think Lori and I ever will be."

He reaches over and pats my arm. "I'll get you a shirt then join me in the living room. I may not be a priest, but I have an ear to listen if you want one."

I go to take a bite then pause. "It's a date."

I finish eating and take my plate into the kitchen. I hand it over to Patricia and walk into the living room. I sit down beside Hershel on the couch and take the offered t-shirt. I pull it on and lean back, rubbing my hands over my face.

"Do you think we can clear the house to talk?"

"I have laundry to do and chores out in the barn," Patricia says, cutting through.

"I'm going up to talk to Beth," Andrea says as she comes inside.

As the screen door slams, I look out and see Lori looking towards the house. I lean forward on my fingertips and sit there. "If I tell you something, will you please hear me out fully before saying anything?"

"Of course Rick, I promise."  
"This stays between me and you … okay."  
"Okay."

Inhaling, I lean back and close my eyes. "When we were at the CDC, a doctor there named Edwin Jenner said this thing that caused the walkers did something to me. It changed me in a really strange way … I am your nocturnal guest … I am the wolf." Over the next ten minutes, I tell him everything that Jenner said and everything that has happened to me, up to and including last night. When I finish, I look over at him. "Okay, your turn."

He leans back and rubs his chin thoughtfully. He gets up and goes into the other room and returns with a large veterinary book. He flips through it before landing on a page. He hands it over to me. I look down and read _The causes of a wolf mutation in man, and why this is significant._ "Read that first then we'll talk."

I read the article, then turn the page. It begins talking about the changes and other things I am exactly experiencing word for word. It says there is 'no known cure' but it talks about radical chemical treatments that can help. I hand the book over to him and he looks at me.

"Let's start with what happens when you become the wolf and go from there."

I look over at him and begin explaining everything …

**(Later On)**

Quiet, nothing but quiet. I like days like this … really like days like this. Carl is with Lori having to do 'homework', which I don't understand. Shane and the others are out repairing the fence, Maggie and Glenn went to town and Daryl's hunting. It can't get any better than this, I take that back … it could be the world was back to normal then it would be perfect.

"Penny for your thoughts."

"That's too much."

She giggles softly as she sits beside me on the steps. I look over at her and smile, her bright blue eyes are finally shining. I was worried about her, probably more than Hershel. That dark despair she'd fallen into, it was horrible. She seems to be doing better since we talked, and I am grateful because that means someone upstairs heard me.

"What's got you so perplexed?"  
"Nothing actually, I am just enjoying the serenity of the day."

"Not used to being idle?"  
"We were on the move so much after everything started, and with the walkers, times like this are few and far between."

"I know, but it's nice though, isn't it?"

"Yes it is."  
"Would you like a glass of tea? I brought you some out."  
"Thank you, I would greatly appreciate that." She hands me the cold glass of tea as our fingers graze. I look at her, she's blushing slightly. Okay Beth, what are you playing at? I notice her running her fingers over my hand. "What?"

"Nothing. I like your hands … they show strength and endurance, they show you're used to hard work. They compliment you." She looks at her own. "Mine are skinny and pale, very dull."

"No, they are petite and fair … they suit you."

"Thanks." She looks towards the camp. "Lori still giving you a hard time?"

"What makes you think something's wrong?"

"Her voice carries in the stillness quite a long ways."

"Oh." I hadn't thought that probably everyone can hear us arguing. "Sorry about that."  
"No worries. I'm more worried about you though."

"Why?"  
"You go out late, taking care of things out in the fields. Why do you go hunting walkers so late? So they won't see you as easily?"

"Something like that."

She slides her arm through mine and clasps her hands together like this is common place. "She needs to cut you some slack."

"As if that will happen," I scoff then take a drink of tea. Her presence, so close to me, she's so at ease with me. "Your daddy might have something to say about this."  
"Nah, he won't."

"Oh really. I am married."  
"I know."

"Lori's right out there."  
"So."

Well then.

"I am not flirting with you, I am spending time with you. Is that a sin or something?"

Where has this feisty attitude coming from? "I don't think so, though Lori might think other-wise."

"Well, if she's that territorial, she shouldn't be yelling and cussing like she does." True. "If she has a problem with this, then she needs to say something. If not, she needs to keep her mouth shut and keep her distance."

I slide my arm from hers and look at her. I notice her face falls just so, and as she goes to slide away, I put my arm around her waist and pull her back to me. I hold her a little closer than I should, but I don't really care. I hear a soft sigh escape her lips as she leans her head on my shoulder.

I smile and run my hand up and down her side, causing her to giggle softly. "Are you ticklish?"

"No, it feels good."

"I'm glad."  
"If I was out of line, I …"  
"Don't think anymore about it."

She keeps her head on my shoulder and sits there, looking out over the yard. "I'm glad that you are out there protecting us. I just don't want anything to happen to you out there alone. How would anyone know where you are?"

"Don't worry, I am fine."

"I know."

Okay, now I really wonder what's in her head. "Beth, what do you know?"

"A lot of things that I probably shouldn't."

"Are they all good things?"  
"I would hope so." She licks her lips. "Maybe you and the wolf can watch each other's backs at night."  
"What brought that up?"  
"It's just, you go out at night and the wolf is out then too. Maybe you two can just watch out for each other is all."

"Maybe we can."

The screen door opens as Hershel steps out. He looks over the land and then down at us. "Beth, Patricia needs help with lunch darling."  
"Okay daddy." She places a light kiss on my cheek before getting up and heading inside.

Hershel sits beside me and I look at him. "Do you think she knows?"  
"I'm not sure," he mentions. "Beth is an island unto herself. First, she loses her mother then her brother. She almost loses her life, not once but twice. Now, she's acting like nothing happened and is even stronger than before." He looks at me. "You are a good influence on her, I don't know why."  
"Me neither," I reply, taking another sip of tea. I chuckle for a moment. "She has a strong opinion of how Lori should be acting and she's not."

"That's Beth."

"Hershel, she mentioned the wolf. She's not scared of it. She's glad it's here."  
"She's not the only one."

"Hershel, what does Beth know?"  
"I honestly can't tell you but maybe we should keep an eye on her. She might know more than she's letting on … and that could make her an easy target for unwelcome guests."

"If anyone lays a hand on her," I growl.

"Good man, keep that thought but with me holding a gun on you."

I chuckle and take a sip of tea. "We're friends, end of discussion."

"Good, keep it that way."


	7. Chapter 7

Young, gentle, warm, kind, authentic, beautiful … these are the words I use to describe you. From the first moment I met you, there was a spark in your eyes and heart that invigorated me and brought life back into this dull heart of mine. I know I shouldn't think about you like this, but I can't help but to after the kindness and generosity you have shown me. You have done all you can for me and my family, welcomed us to your home.

You have a quiet warmth and depth of courage that comes to the surface only when you're mad or backed into a corner. I know something bad happened to you, I can see the depths of sadness sometimes brimming in your eyes. I wish I could take that pain away from you, but I know it's not my place. I shouldn't even be writing this to you, but I am.

You understand me, you understand who and what I am and it doesn't make you afraid. You're not scared of me, you don't revile or hate me. You still care about me … I know it's you that's leaving the food and water for me, your scent is all over it. I don't know what caused you to start doing that, but thank you it means a lot. All of our conversations to this point have brought me to a point to where I can actually deal better with my situation. I don't think I ever could have dealt with it this well if you hadn't had this deep faith in me. For that, I am so grateful and honored, and I will do anything and everything to protect you and your family.

In my heart of hearts, I wish you were mine. In my heart of hearts, I would love you until the end of time. I would cherish you and honor you, and lay my life down for you. You are one of the most precious things in this world to me now, Beth … please, don't ever lose your faith or trust in me because I don't know if I could handle it.

As I said, in my heart of hearts I wish you were mine …

I love you,

Rick

Folding the piece of paper, she holds it to her chest and sits on the edge of the bed. She reaches up and blots tears from her eyes. Her tears flow more freely and gently as she sits there. She places the piece of paper to her lips, kissing it and inhaling the scent on it. She lays down on her bed and reopens it, reading the words over and over. Her heart skips a beat every time she makes it to the end where he professes his love for her.

The door opens as Maggie slides in and closes it. "What was that about?"  
"What?" she asks, sitting up.

"That verbal tirade you just ripped into Lori about. Beth, what is going on with you?"

"Here." She extends the piece of paper to her.

Walking over, Maggie sits and takes it from her. Opening it, she reads across the gentle scrawl of the words. Her hand floats to her mouth as she makes it to the end. Refolding the page, she hands it back to her. "What are you going to do about it?"

"What should I do?"

"Well, to tell you the truth … I think if you press the issue, the truth will come out about her and Shane."  
"Do you know what that will do to him?"

"Yep I do." She pauses. "Would you be willing to catch him?"  
"Gladly."

"Then sister, it is time we wrestle you up a man that is definitely worthy of you."

"You think so?"

"I wouldn't be willing to help if I didn't think so."

Later that evening, Maggie and Glenn are walking through the field together holding hands. "Can I tell you something?"  
"Sure, what is it?"  
"Lori is sleeping with Shane, they got caught."  
"By who?"  
"Me."

"Damn, where we they?"

"Down the path from the windmill Shane's been working on. I know Andrea is sweet on Shane sort of, so I was wondering how to tell her."

"Why are you telling me?"  
"These are your friends Glenn, I'm just an outsider. Why would they want to believe me over two members of a group that's been together for awhile?"  
"I see your point."

"So, how do I tell her?"

"I think we should tell her just like this. Come on."

They walk over to the camp; Glen pokes his head in the RV and whistles. "Andrea, Dale, we need a word with you two outside."

Dale and Andrea stare at each other then head outside. They walk over to where Glenn and Maggie are standing, and Andrea tracks Maggie's stare straight to Lori and Shane. "Something wrong?"

"I know you're kind of sweet on Shane so I'll tell you like it is … I caught him and Lori doing the nasty."

Dale looks over at the two of them and pulls his hat off, rubbing his head. "This is going to destroy Rick."

"I think he suspects something," Glenn says. "He's very leery every time he sees Shane and Lori together."

"Said could be the same for Beth and Rick from Lori's point of view," Carol says, walking over with Daryl.

"Maggie caught them doing the act," Glenn tells them.

"Who's gonna break it to Rick?" Daryl asks, cutting his gaze to them. "I always thought he was an oily peckerwood."

"You and me both," Andrea breathes.

"I feel more sorry for Carl, he's caught up in the middle of this," Carol says, wrapping her arms around herself.

"That selfish little brat is nothing but a momma's boy," Maggie hisses softly. "He will do any-thing Lori wants, and looks at Shane like he's some type of father figure when he's nothing but a damn poacher."

"Maybe Rick should rip his ass a new one," Daryl snaps.

"Daddy will kick the two of them off the land," Maggie says. "I don't want it to get ugly where Carl is concerned though. What should we do about him? I know he loves his momma, but it's like he has no respect for his daddy."

"Kid might just be puttin' on an act too," Daryl growls.

"Let me deal with Carl, the rest of you find Rick and Hershel," Dale breathes, inhaling deeply. "I will come and let you know when to tell him." He looks around. "Where's T-Dog?"

"In the kitchen with Beth and Patricia, cooking ham and grits for supper," Maggie chuckles. "Patricia asked if anyone knew how to slice a ham and the boy was in the house faster than a tornado through Kansas."

"He likes his cooking, c'mon let's go find us some men," Daryl says, looking around.

Dale leans his head over and shakes it before walking away. He walks over, finding Carl sitting by himself reading a book. "Hey son, mind if I join you."

"No sir, not at all," Carl says. "What's up?"  
"I was wondering what you thought about your dad, now that he's back with us."  
"He seems different somehow, mom's scared of him."

"Are you, son?"

"He's never done nothing to make me feel scared of him."  
"I know you and Shane are close since he was with you and your mom on the road."

"Shane's always been around, like that friend you can't shake even if you want to."

"That's an interesting thing to say about him. Don't you like him?"  
"I do and I don't, does that make sense?"  
"It does. What if I told you something might happen that causes your mom and Shane to leave? Would you go with them?"

"Is mom's baby Shane's or dad's?"

"We don't know, that's what I'm asking you. If they decide to leave, would you go with them or would you stay with us?"

"I don't know Dale, I really don't."

"YOU LYING LITTLE BITCH!"

They turn and see Lori and Andrea in the middle of the field, yelling and screaming. They get up and run down to where the two women are fighting.

"HOW LONG YOU BEEN SLEEPING WITH HIM!" Lori snaps.

"I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU THE EXACT SAME THING!" Andrea hisses.

"What's going on out here!" Hershel yells.

"Shane and Lori got caught!" Andrea shouts.

"Caught?" Hershel asks, then notices the look on Maggie's face. "OH you mean Caught. Well then, this is an interesting situation."

"That baby's probably his too," Andrea hisses as they lunge for one another.

Rick takes that moment to come out of the house and yank the two women apart. He lowers his steel gaze on Lori, causing her to back into Shane. "Why am I not surprised in you? Do us both a favor and move out of the tent!"

"No, you do us both a favor and move out!" Lori snaps.

"Maybe you and Shane should leave instead," Hershel says.

"I have no problem with that," Shane snaps and starts walking off.

"C'mon baby, let's go," Lori says, holding her hand out to Carl.

Carl looks from Dale to Lori and backs up behind Dale. "He's staying with us, he made his choice," Dale says. To prove his point, he reaches into his pocket and pulls Andrea's handgun out then aims it. "I won't shoot you, but you are not taking this boy. He wants to stay here with his father."

Lori turns and runs after Shan e, tears rolling down her face as she goes. Rick throws his hands up and stomps back into the house. His fist goes for the wall but impacts a hand instead. His eyes settle on the hand then follow to Beth's eyes.

She steps to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him. He slides his arms around her neck and holds her close, tears falling on her shoulder. Patricia walks over and places her arms around them as T-Dog stands there.

"I'll check on everyone outside," he mutters and heads out the door.

"You're here, you're safe, you're family," Patricia whispers to Rick. "Let us help you, honey please." She lets them go. "I'll bring your boy inside, he can sleep in my room." She steps around them and heads outside.

She cradles him in his arms, running her hand through his hair gently. Lifting his face, he looks down into her eyes.

"Say something."  
She licks her lips then presses a gentle kiss on his cheek. "In my heart of hearts is where you belong now."

Tears roll down his cheeks as he realizes she got the note and read it. He pulls her to him and sobs quietly, sliding down her body to the floor. She follows him down, pulling him close to her and rocking him gently. Neither of them hear the screen door when it opens, but they feel Maggie and Andrea's arms wrapping them up. Carol and Patricia soon join them as Carl stands in the doorway with T-Dog.

"We're good now," Hershel says, looking at Dale.  
"Oh yea, we're really good now," Daryl grins and pats Hershel on the shoulder. "Let them try and come back … they won't like it."

"Amen," Dale states.

"Hershel, is it okay for me to come in?" Carl asks.

"More than fine, take your things upstairs," Hershel says, reaching out and gripping his shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll take care of you and your dad … you're family now."

"Family's a great word right now," Carl smiles and heads upstairs.

"The resilience of youth," Dale mutters.

"We'll just have to keep an eye on him," T-Dog mutters softly.

"Deal," Daryl replies.


	8. Chapter 8

Looking up, Beth sees the door open as Andrea steps inside. She closes the door and sits down in the chair across from the bed. "Rick is outside with the others, helping to work on the fence the walkers tore down. I thought I would come up here and talk to you."  
"About what?"

"Life, death, regret, love. I have had my share of all them, and quite recently, just like you. I know how hard it can be to come to terms with things that happen. I don't think you've really accepted the fact that your baby's gone."

"I never had the chance to process it, I lost both him and his daddy in the same day. I really haven't processed that he's gone either. Jimmy's a nice guy, but I don't like him and I sure as hell don't want to spend the rest of my life with him."

"Is there someone you do want to spend time with?"

"Yea, and I get to on occasion."

"It's nice isn't it, feeling that closeness with him. You two have become really good friends, and that's something he needs."

"Yea, but I don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to him before I could tell him that I love him."

"Are you in love with him or is it a crush?"

"I know what a crush feels like, and this feels nothing like that."

"What does it feel like?"

"Emptiness when we're apart, yearning when we're so close to touch but don't or can't, my chest tightens and races when he's close. When he puts his arm around me, I feel like there is no one left in the world but us. I hate the way she talks to him."

"We all do." Andrea leans back, stretching her legs. Beth pats the bed so Andrea gets up and walks over, piling onto the bed with her. Reaching over, she pushes a strand of hair from her eyes. She licks her lips and smiles. "You are the most beautiful young lady I have seen in quite some time, outside of myself of course. Any guy would be crazy not to want to be with you. I know he likes you, I overheard them talking about it one night."  
"Is she mad at me?"

"I don't quite recollect. Have you ever thought about dressing nice for him?"  
"I did once, even put on some perfume but I don't think it got to him."

"OH, so that's what that was about. I remember … all your clothes were supposedly on the line and you were wearing a sundress. I remember that now."

Beth gets off the bed and turns around, lifting her shirt. "Daddy got pissed when I got it."

Andrea runs her fingers over the butterfly tattoo then notices the skulls in the wings. "I bet the skulls didn't help either."

"Not a bit," Beth says, hopping back onto the bed. "When I told him about Shawn, I showed him my tattoo and he touched it. I have to admit, his fingers on my bare skin sent a shiver over my body." She reaches out and takes Andrea's hand. "Thank you, you didn't have to leave your necklace in the flower bed."

"It was my sister Amy's, and I felt that was the perfect place to leave it. You and her would have gotten along really well. You both would've been a handful to deal with."

"What should I do, about him?"

"Well, do you know what he likes to eat?"

"A few things."  
"Well, quit sitting around here and let's get to cooking."

Beth giggles as they slide off the bed and head downstairs. They go into the kitchen, seeing Hershel and Rick deep in conversation about something.

"Let me," Andrea grins and walks into the room. "Gentlemen, we were wondering what your favorite dishes are so we can try to make them tonight."

Rick and Hershel look up at her then at each other. "For what reason?"

"A special treat is all," Andrea replies as Dale walks in. "Hon, what's your favorite dish?"

"Broccoli and cheese casserole with crunched up Ritz crackers on top," Dale grins. "I don't know why, but I love it. Don't worry about trying to make it."

"Hershel?" Andrea asks.

"Chicken pot pie like Annette used to make," Hershel smiles.

"Mine's a bit harder to make," Rick mutters.

"Meaning?" Patricia asks, crossing her arms.

"It's a three layered yellow cake with chocolate icing and the center of it is melted chocolate and caramel together, almost like a swirl," Rick comments.

"Well now that is an interesting line-up," Patricia thinks.

"I like mashed potatoes with real cream, mayo and lumps," Daryl sneaks in.

"Personally, I love Maggie's fried chicken," Glenn adds.

"Make that two of us," T-Dog smiles as he walks in from outside.

"Carl?" Andrea asks.

"Any of it sounds good to me," Carl grins.

"He's not hard to please," Carol chuckles. "Do we have any cream?"  
"Quite and quite fresh too," Patricia grins, "along with real sweet cream butter. Remember, you folks are living on a working farm."

"Ladies, let's get to cooking," Patricia says.

"Hershel, if pot pie is not in your future what else do you like?" Andrea asks.

"A large pan full of sautéed potatoes and onions with squash and mushrooms," Hershel says, sighing just so.

"You can leave out the smashed taters for that," Daryl puts in suddenly. "Suddenly I have a hankering for fried taters too."

Several hours later, everyone is finishing their dinner as Hershel looks around the table. "Ladies, that was absolutely the best meal we have had in ages. My compliments to all of you for a great job well done."

"Here here," Dale and Glenn chime in.

"Can you move some stuff please for dessert," Beth says, stepping into the kitchen.

"Dessert," Hershel comments, "after all this?"

"Yea, something special," Beth calls out. They clear a spot as she walks in with a platter and sets it down. She pulls the top off to reveal a large chocolate iced cake. "I hope it is edible, and it's still warm."

"Did you make it yourself?" Dale asks.  
"I most certainly did," Beth grins and sits beside Rick.

Hershel rises and slices into the cake; as he pulls the knife back, copious amounts of chocolate caramel ooze around. Rick turns to look at Beth as Hershel pulls a slice out and looks down at it. "Honey, I don't know if my diet or sugar can handle this. How in the world did you make this glorious creation?"  
"Crossed my fingers," Beth grins as she takes the knife and cuts a piece for Rick. She sets it down then clicks her fingers. "Aw nuts, forgot something."  
"Like what!" Maggie shrieks.

Beth gets up and goes back into the kitchen. She returns with a large iced-over stone pot and a large spoon. "Who wants fresh vanilla ice cream?"

"No she didn't," Glenn laughs as Beth takes the top of the jar.

"Oh yes she did because I helped," Andrea grins and looks at Rick. "Well, is this what you were thinking about?"  
Beth sits beside him as he cuts a piece and swirls it around in the lava center before taking a long bite. His eyes close as he savors the flavors; without thought, he leans over and places a chocolaty kiss on Beth's lips. He opens his eyes instantly as they stare at one another. The table goes quiet as Beth leans over and gingerly licks the excess chocolate from his lips.

"I hope you like it."  
"I do," he smiles at her. "Uh."  
"Yes you may."

He grins and leans over, kissing her once again as the whistles abruptly start.


	9. Chapter 9

Running the back of my hand over my sweaty forehead, I look out over the farmland and smile. The quiet is so peaceful, and the landscape is so beautiful even with the dangers of walkers lurking out there. I lean against the shovel, pondering life and other things, then I feel the breeze on my face, something we don't get much of these days. Holding my face into the wind, I don't know why but I sniff the air and close my eyes. I exhale and lets a smile creep on my lips … rain is in the air.

For the first time since being on the farm, it's going to rain … I can smell it, I can feel the chill starting to creep in and the electricity of the storm sends jolts of pleasure through my body in anticipation. Opening my eyes, I grin as I continue to shovel. I feel more energized, more primal almost. It helps me finish my work, which causes me to feel the strength and heart of the wolf inside me, reaching out to the storm in acknowledgment. There won't be much hunting tonight, the storm's going to be rather rough from what I sense.

As I finish the post holes for the fence, I drop the diggers and head to where the group is sitting under our oak … our home away from home. I look at the size of it, and feel a twinge of uneasiness at the thoughts of it coming down on us during the storm … we're going to have to move out from under it for a bit. "We might want to move closer to the house tonight … I think there's bad weather heading this way," I tell them.

"What sort of bad weather? Dude, look at the sky," T-Dog says, holding his hands up. "There is not a cloud in the sky."

"I know, but I was in the outer pasture and saw a storm graze over the forest down there. I saw a lightning bolt head straight to the ground. I don't think it set anything on fire, but we might not want to take chances," I explain, running my hand over my chin. "Look at the size of this oak for starters."

"Lightning straight down with nothing around," Dale muses, "sounds serious to me. We can't take too many precautions these days. We don't have weather radar and a storm like that could have a tornado hidden inside it."  
"Maybe Hershel will let us sleep in the house if the weather gets bad," Andrea says, getting up. "I don't relish sleeping in an RV during a thunderstorm."

"My tent ain't waterproof either," Daryl says, rising and dusting his pants off. "First big rain and it'll come crashing down."

"Well, if you think we should then maybe we should at least consider it," Carol comments. "It would be bad if lightning hit this tree too."

"Okay, I am game for whatever," T-Dog grins. "I am not in the mood to get drowned tonight anyway."

We pack up our belongings and head for the porch. Hershel and the girls are gathered outside with Patricia and Carl, talking about days to day events when we come up. I am grateful Hershel has taken my son in so easily. "Mind if we crash inside tonight," Dale speaks up. "Rick thinks we have bad weather on the horizon."

"What makes you think that?" Patricia asks.

"I watched a storm roll over the forest a few miles from here and saw a bolt of lightning head to the ground," I explain as Beth winks at me. I grin as I look over the land. "I finished the post holes so we can put the fence up tomorrow."

"Good man," Hershel says. "I don't like the idea of everyone coming into my house at once, but if the weather turns bad you can. For tonight, you can sleep on the porch unless a storm does comes up. If and when it does, come on inside. We can make room on the floor in the parlor and dining room, and maybe some upstairs if need be."

The energy of the oncoming storm sends a shockwave through my body as I sort of push every-one onto the porch hastily. "What's with the shoving son?" Dale asks.

I turn around; holding onto the post, I lean out off the porch. "3 … 2 … 1 …" As I finish, a house shaking crack of thunder rolls through the sky above. I laugh as the wind begins kicking up and lean further out before letting go and hopping down into the yard.

"Sorry for the doubt," Dale comments, yanking his hat off and rubbing his head.

I step out into the yard and fall onto my back, watching the approaching storm roll in. Shaking her head, Beth hops off the porch and goes out, dropping beside me on the ground and staring up. "Can you feel it in your body?"  
"It's almost orgasmic," I muse with a grin. "The storm is so primal and it's feeding my soul in a strange way. I feel like it's calling to me."

"Maybe it is in a strange way," she smiles.

We lay on the ground, watching the storm roll in on the wind as another house shaking crack of thunder rolls through. Beth looks over at me and grins, then blushes. "I've never met anyone who loves thunderstorms as much as I do."  
"I used to not, but since my change it's amazing the energy they produce," I muse then look over at her. "They're addictive, aren't they."

"They're perfect, just like you."

"No, you're the perfect one of the two of us." I pull her to me as we lay there, continuing to watch the storm.

The clouds continue to roll overhead and the thunder cracks. The skies become grayer, causing the yard lights to kick on like sundown is happening. Daryl and Andrea hop off the porch and come out, laying down with us. "Man, I haven't done this in forever," Daryl chuckles. "This is nice. I remember one time Merle and I were on the road, a storm started comin' in and he headed for this shack. Me, I just shook it off and went out in a field and laid down, listenin' to the thunder and watchin' it lightning and rain. That was an awesome day."

"Amy and I used to do this all the time before we moved into the city," Andrea tells us. "We were actually laying in the front yard when a lightning bolt destroyed an oak not 100 feet from us. Do you know all we did was lay there and laugh, and our parents went crazy yelling at us to come inside. They finally had to send Kate after us."

"Who's Kate? First time we've heard her name," Daryl mentions.

"My older sister, she was in Tallahassee when all hell broke loose … I don't know if she's even alive or not."

"Maybe we'll find her one day," Beth smiles and grips her hand.

"Maybe we will," Andrea sighs and lets her hand go.

We watch the clouds roll, feel the crispness in the air as the temperature drops suddenly … then we get drowned. The sky opens up in one fluid motion, dumping volumes of water on us … and it's a seriously cold rain too.

"Damn this rain is cold!" Andrea squeals and runs to the house.

"I needed a bath anyway," Daryl chuckles as he lays there with us.

We lay there, watching it rain for several more long minutes before finally giving up and head for the porch. Patricia comes out as Daryl is shaking himself off, catching her in the process. She laughs and drops a towel on his head before handing one to me and one to Beth. Beth sits and dries her hair, curling up on the porch swing. I sit beside her as Daryl grabs his gear and heads inside.

"Gonna watch awhile sweetie?" Patricia asks.

"Yea," Beth smiles, leaning her head on my shoulder. Patricia takes our towels and heads in as we sit there, rocking on the swing. "Think you'll be able to predict storms now?"

"Nah, I think because I was out there so far I could feel it. This is nice, isn't it?"

"It sure is. We might want to head in and change clothes before we catch a cold." She looks up at me and grins. "Nay," we both laugh and keep rocking.

"Okay storm watchers, back in the house," Hershel says stepping onto the porch. "Beth, go take a hot bath after Andrea gets done."  
"Okay daddy," she says, rising.

"And straighten your bed out," Hershel smiles, "Rick is going to need a place to sleep tonight since every place is taken now." He winks at me and walks back in. "Oh and by the way," he says, holding the door open, "I will be checking in periodically when you least expect me to so no funny stuff."  
"There is no funny stuff going on," I tell him.

"Good, keep it that way," Hershel reminds me.

Beth heads inside as I pull my feet onto the swing and sit there, watching the storm rage on. Dale comes back out and drops another towel over me. "Patricia's orders till you come in." He sits in the rocker and looks out. "You'd better stay in tonight."

"I will," I tell him.

"Both of you," Dale muses and starts rocking.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, looking over at him.

"Let's just say I know a little about wolves and men, and neither is safe out in this," Dale replies and continues rocking. He looks over at me. "I think you understand my meaning."  
"How?" I ask.

"Just figuring things out a little slowly," he replies. "Now that I have." He leans over and holds his hand out, "I appreciate it more."

I reach out and take his hand, gripping it. "Thank you."  
"No, thank you."


	10. Chapter 10

"Thanks for coming with me Glenn, I appreciate it."

"What made you want to do this?"  
"Carl asked me what I think happened to them after they left, so I thought about it. There's a couple of small buildings they could be holed up in. I know it's a long shot, and I don't want to be out driving after dark."

"Would you rather be running through the woods?"  
"Yea. About that … what do you know?"  
"Maggie said she found a book open on Hershel's desk with a notepad where he was taking notes. It had your name and _manifestations of a wolf in man _article open. She thought it was weird, and thought that maybe the wolf had bit you. It made sense to think about that maybe you were the wolf. I didn't tell her though."

"I appreciate that." He stares out the window. "So, what were you and Hershel talking about?"

"I got the speech."

"What speech?"  
"The good foot and shotgun speech."

Rick busts out in a large grin and looks over at him. "Isn't that a little bit late?"

"Yea, just a little bit."

Both men look at each other and bust out laughing.

"Are you two being careful?"

"We are. That reminds me, I need to get some more."

"Well, there's a pharmacy or two up this way."

"Hey, is there a health food store around here? I was thinking we could go in there and look around."  
"For what?"  
"Not what … who … you do know Beth is a vegetarian, right?"  
"Yea, she's told me a few times."

"Do you enjoy talking to her?"

"I do."

"Hershel told me that he respected my opinions and that I have been through more than he and Maggie. He said he considered me more of a man for asking his permission to see Maggie properly, even though he had a feeling we were sneaking around. He reminded me that if he caught us doing those sorts of things in his house that his good foot would be up my butt, and he would chase me out of the house … with or without clothes on."  
"Why did you tell me that?"

"Well, I see the way Beth looks at you."

"And she's 17."

"And she's pretty and she brings out something in you I haven't seen in a long time."  
"Like what?"  
"You smile easier, you laugh easier. You're no longer tense."

"Does it show?"  
"Even Maggie has noticed … and she said Beth is acting different too."

"She came to check on me the other day, wearing a sundress."

"Dude, you are so busted!"

"Hey, nothing happened! I swear!" He pauses and licks his lips. "I take that back … I kissed her."

"DUDE, you are so busted!"

"That's all I did though! I almost regretted doing it."

"Almost!"

"She's a really good kisser."

"Then maybe I should do the pharmacy thing and you should do the health food thing. We tell Carl we didn't see them and we would have had to go past our limit for the day. If we see another car, then we tell him they switched cars."

"That's having me to lie to my son."  
"And making brownie points with Beth."  
"I don't need to do that."

"I know, but it would go a long ways with Hershel to show that you thought about Beth while out on a run."

"True."

"So, deal or not?"

He pauses and licks his lips. "Deal. So, what do I look for?"

"Think about Beth when you're looking around. She's probably told you certain things that she likes or needs without coming out to say it."

"Okay, I'll do that then."

Coming to the next intersection, Rick pulls off the road and parks in front of the pharmacy. He looks around and notices the health food store next door. Glenn smiles and heads to the pharmacy and Rick walks over. He looks in the window and gently pushes the door open. Drawing his gun, he steps in slowly and looks around. Holstering the gun, he looks around and notices a sign hanging over the 'vegetarian' section. Grinning, he walks over and begins looking through the bottles and packages.

Glenn steps inside and notices him kneeling in front of a shelving group. "Can't make up your mind?"  
"One says vegetarian and one says vegan, but the vegan is the better date."

"Take it, it might work for her. You never know, some bottles for vegans can be for vegetarians too." Glenn looks over and notices three large bags piled on the counter, their contents about to dump out. "Want me to take these to the car?"

Rick stands and drops the bottle in one. "These two are for everyone, they're vitamins and things we can all use. This third one is for Beth specifically."

"So, I guess we can supplement these with what I got too," Glenn says, "except for the small private bag."

"Good call."

"Hey Rick, do you hear that buzzing?"

"It's the sound of power but I can't trace it down. The lights don't work."

Following his ears, Glenn steps into the back of the store and looks around. Reaching his hand out, he touches a cold cabinet. "This cabinet is cold!"

Rick walks back as he opens it. "What's in there?"  
"Dude, you done hit the jackpot! It's fresh, and I mean FRESH, vegetarian food … tofu, tofurkey, all these things Beth likes."

Looking around, Rick bends down and picks up a cold bag and holds it open for Glenn to start loading everything into it.

They pull up to the house as grey clouds roll overhead. Maggie comes out and helps Glenn unload several bags. As she reaches for the others, Rick smiles and takes them. "Where's Beth?"

"She's in the kitchen," Maggie says as he heads inside. "What was that about?"

"Come on, you need to see this," Glenn grins.

Walking up the steps, Patricia opens the door for Rick. He leans over and kisses her cheek as he heads into the house. She looks at Maggie, shrugging as Glenn laughs at their expressions. They go into the kitchen where Beth and Andrea are talking to Hershel.

Rick sets the bags down and walks over, sliding his arms around her from behind. "I brought you a special present while I was out."

"Like what?" Beth asks, turning to look at him.

"It's all fresh by the way," he grins and lets her go. He fishes through the one bag and pulls it out. "I hope you like tofurkey." He turns and holds it out to her. "That is the right stuff, right?"

Tears roll down her cheeks as she throws her arms around his neck. "How did you remember this?"

"I remembered a lot more," he says, fishing a box out and handing it to her.

Beth squeals and starts going through the cold bag. "Where did you find all this?"

"We got lucky," Glenn smiles. "We brought vitamins, pain killers, sinus, whatever we could think we might would need."

Hershel reaches out and clasps both their shoulders. "Gentlemen, thank you."

Opening the fridge, Beth starts loading food into it. She takes the roll from his hand and breaks out in a wide grin. "You found quinoa polenta! This stuff is like so hard to find, and it's cold too. Where in the world?"

"Some place we found," he smiles.

She holds the roll out and reads it. "This sounds good to go with supper. It has cranberries, raisins and quinoa, along with other healthy things." She places a kiss on his cheek and smiles. "I don't know what you went through for this but thank you." She places it in the fridge as everyone begins going through the bags.

Taking her hand, Rick gently pulls her out of the crowded kitchen. They head upstairs to her room and sit on the bed. "I brought you something else too." He lifts the second bag up and sets it on the bed with them. "I hope it's the right thing."

Crossing her legs, Beth begins digging through the bag. She pulls out the vitamins, minerals, herbs, then she finds it. Reaching her hand down into the bag, she pulls the small box of perfume out. She opens the box and pulls it out; uncorking it, she sniffs it lightly. Reaching out, he takes it from her and gently sprays her pulse points.

"I got this because it reminded me of that perfume you were wearing the other day," he smiles as she lifts her wrist to sniff. "I also found some body lotion and bath salts in the same scent so you won't have to use all the perfume up."

She holds her wrist out to him and he inhales softly. "Thank you. No one has ever done any-thing so nice for me before. They have, but never on this scale."

"You are most welcome."

She reaches out and wraps her arms around his neck. "I am so glad you are here."  
"Me too," he replies, sliding his arm around her.


	11. Chapter 11

Their fingers gently lace together as they step down from the porch. They start walking across the yard, neither saying a word. The screen door claps open.

"Grab some buckets while you walk!" Patricia calls out.

"There's nothing left of the orchard!" Beth calls back.

"Damn," Patricia hisses and goes back inside.

"Orchard?" Rick asks.

"We have an orchard here on the property, but all the apples are gone. Someone, or some thing, is taking them before we can. It would be nice to have some fresh fruit though, I miss it. By the way, thank you again for all the food you brought back for me."

"No problem." They stop beside his jeep and stand there. Looking around, he reaches over and places a soft kiss on her lips. "You're welcome."

"I like that."

"Bet you do," Daryl grins as he pats Rick on the shoulder while chomping on an apple.  
"Where did you get that?" Beth asks.

"Out there, there's tons," he grins.

They step from the tree line and look over the orchard … apples everywhere. Beth and Patricia laugh as everyone heads over. They start picking apples from the trees and load them into baskets. Beth heads into the orchard and stops, kneeling. She picks an apple up and walks slowly out.

Rick holds his hand up as everyone watches her. They look over to see a fawn come running up to Beth. It's tongue reaches out and grabs the apple from her hand and chews on it, letting her pet it as it eats. She pulls a second apple out as another fawn runs over and takes it. After they eat, the fawns begin to kick at one another then run as a large buck steps from the cover. He walks over and takes an apple from Beth's hand. He chews on it as he butts her gently for another. She holds her hand out with the second apple and he takes it. He chews on it as Rick appears with an outstretched apple.

He slides his arm around her waist as the buck moves back to allow a doe to come up and eat from Rick's hand. Carl comes over and stands beside them, holding an apple up to her. She wraps her tongue around the apple and takes it. The bucks head butts Carl gently before all four run back into the woods.

"That was totally cool," Carl whispers as they leave.

"Totally," Glenn smiles coming up.


	12. Chapter 12

**We can thank Christina Aguilera for this chapter title and pieces.**

_**Burn me with fire, drown me with rain, I'm gonna wake up screaming your name. Yes I'm a sinner, yes I'm a saint, whatever happens here … we remain. We talk about our wasted futures till we take a good look around. All around are familiar places, worn out places, going nowhere. Our tears are filling up our glasses, I won't to hide my head and drown my sorrows. But burn me with fire, drown me with rain, I'm gonna wake up screaming your name. Yes I'm a sinner, yes I am a saint, whatever happens here … we remain.**_

Laying the pen down, Beth picks up her journal and reads over the words. She hums softly as the door opens softly. She looks over to see Andrea walking in. She grins and continues humming.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to write a song. It helps my mind to cope with stress and anxiety."

"You've been up here alone for a long time."

"I know, I got mad at daddy and came up here. Where's Rick?"

"He and Hershel had words earlier so he stomped off some place."

Closing the journal, she looks over at Andrea. "I love him so much, and I can't see myself with-out him now."

"Have you told him?"  
"I have, I even told him I love him but he didn't tell me back. I mean, he's told me in writing, but he's never said the words to me. I can understand why though, with everything Lori put him through he's gun shy of getting into another 'couple' so soon."

"Talk to him, it's best thing for you to do. Ignore Hershel, Maggie, me … ignore everyone except for you and him."

"Okay, I will do that." Looking down, she opens the journal and hands it to her. "This is what I've gotten so far."  
Reaching out, Andrea takes the journal and looks down at the gentle scrawl. Leaning back, she hums softly and grins. "It's really good."

"Maybe after I talk to Rick, I can try to finish it."  
"Maybe you can."

Walking into the orchard, she pauses when she sees him. Inhaling, she walks over and slides her arms around his waist. "How are you?"  
"No complaints, how are you?"

"Fine. I heard you and daddy got into it."  
"He's been a bit pigheaded about something."

"You just need to convince him to see your way of things."

"That will be hard to do since it's the exact opposite of what he wants." Turning around, he slides his arms around her and kisses her forehead. "I thought you were writing."  
"Had a block and needed some air." She leans up on her tiptoes and presses a firm kiss to his lips. "I love you."  
He looks at her for a long moment then leans over and kisses her. His hand roams down her side as he holds her close to him. Sliding her arms around his neck, she allows herself to flow into him, feeling his body pressed to hers.

He backs her against the tree as they continue to kiss, hands roaming over each other's body in ways they shouldn't. He pulls his lips free before pulling her into the orchard, away from any prying eyes. They move through and down to the water's edge.

He pulls her to the ground with him as their lips reunite and tongues tangle together. Their hands continue roaming over one another. He presses up against her, and she feels his growing manhood. She lets out a small gasp as he rolls atop her, pinning her to the ground. Their hands run down, pulling buttons free till his bare chest is exposed to her fingers. He lifts her off the ground and pulls her tank top off.

His mouth grazes from her lips to her neck to her shoulders and down her breasts. She moans softly, pressing him to her. His mouth returns as he looks down at her.

"I cannot keep my damn hands off of you," he growls softly. "I don't want to push myself on you, and I don't want us to rush into anything. This is something that … damn Beth, yes I love you too."


	13. Chapter 13

**If it seems rushed that Lori and Shane are back, I am in the process of writing that! OOPS! I am so sorry, I thought I had all this ready for publishing but I forgot something ... sorry.**

"What we need to do is make sure this doesn't happen again," Lori begins, as my anger grows. "If you're not willing to talk to him, Rick …"  
"Where the hell do you get off!" Andrea snaps out of the blue. "Where the hell do you get off telling him what to do and what not to do! You and Shane left, you two were gone! Neither of you had any reason to come back here and because you did, this is what happened! I don't like you Lori, I think you are nothing but a conniving manipulative bitch using the fact that baby could belong to either one of them to get what you want!"

"I don't have to stand for …"

"Oh yes you do!" Andrea snaps again. "You and Shane made the conscious decision to come back here and things were fucking fine until you two rolled up in here like the great white saviors! Our lives were fine, we were dealing fine! We don't need you and that two-bit thug who hangs on your ever word!"

"Who the hell are you calling a two-bit thug!" Shane demands.

"You, go take a look in the mirror and you'll understand why," Andrea smarts off. "Why don't the two of you just get the hell out of here! We don't want you, we don't need you! Both of you are nothing but a damn liability!"

"Check please," Glenn whistles softly.

Shane steps closer as Andrea walks right up to him. Reaching her hand out, she begins to drive her pointed finger into his chest. "You are nothing but an ignorant pleasure seeking steal-whatever-woman-you-can lazy ass sonofabitch! You'll do anything that will spread her legs for you making you think you're every woman's dream. I thought you were, boy did I miss the mark on that! You are nothing but a self-righteous inconsiderate bastard!"

A small applause from Glenn, Maggie and Dale can be heard from the porch. Daryl adjusts his crossbow as I stand there. Where did this come from Andrea all of a sudden? I look up and see both Hershel and Beth on the porch as Carol comes walking over.

"We don't need the two of you, we don't want the two of you so turn your happy asses around and leave! If that is such a hard concept, get in the car and one of us will gladly drive you to the end of the driveway to point you to the road." Andrea backs up and crosses her arms. "So you two just need to get!"

The sound of a shotgun chucking can be heard and we turn to see T-Dog standing there. "You heard the lady, now pack yer shit and leave!"

Reaching into her back pocket, Carol pulls a small handgun out and levels it on Lori. "Like they said, we don't want you here. Everything was fine now you both need to leave."

Daryl pulls the crossbow around and notches an arrow. "If you don't leave willingly, we WILL ESCORT you off the property."

Hershel steps off the porch and comes over to where we're standing. "The majority has spoken, you two need to leave NOW!"

Lori's temper flares and she spins, trying to slap me when her hand is caught. Beth shoves her hand away and glares at her. "Don't, you're pregnant and shouldn't endure that sort of pain. Now leave!"

"DO you people even know what he is!" Lori snaps, glaring at me.

"We do," Dale speaks up, "and we don't care."

"I am taking my boy," Lori snarls.

"MY GRANDSON stays here," Hershel states loudly.

"Grandson," Lori mutters.

"Yes grandson," Hershel states again.

Shane reaches over and takes Lori's arm, pulling her to the car. "We will come back."  
"And we will be waiting," T-Dog snaps.

The two climb into the car and head out the driveway in a hurry.

"Daddy," Maggie begins.

"Do you really consider me your grandson?" Carl asks, walking over with Patricia.

"I do," Hershel smiles.

"But does that mean?" Beth begins softly.

"I've never had a problem with the two of you being together, it's the _being together_ that I'm not ready for," Hershel smiles. "Yes, you have my permission to kiss her as much as you want, but it stays at kissing!"

Putting my arms around her waist, I lift Beth off her feet and kiss her passionately. Her arms slide around my neck as I fall to my knees holding her.

"Happy endings, got to love them," Dale muses softly.

"Amen," Patricia smiles.

"Hey Andrea, what got into you?" Glenn asks.

"Tired of bullshit and manipulative bitches," Andrea fumes. "And you!" She whirls around and stares at me as we rise. "You ever scare the shit out of me like you did the other night I will PERSONALLY skin your ass! You got me!"

Shaking my head, I look at Beth then grab Andrea and hug her with my free arm. "Deal; just learn how to aim better."

"Jerk," Andrea laughs and hugs me. "I guess you all understand what she meant, right?"

"Yea we know," Glenn speaks up, "and man, am I glad you're on our side."

"Amen," Dale laughs.


	14. Chapter 14

"What do you want me to say!"

"I don't know, I don't understand this anymore than you do!"

We stare at one another, her blue eyes holding back tears that threaten to drown my soul. I reach out and pull her to me, holding her close to me as I run my hand through her hair. I cradle her against me, fighting back my own tears.

"I want to be with you," she confides.

"I want to be with you too," I tell her.

"How can we be with daddy threatening to kick all of you off the property."

"I don't know, it's something we need to work on."  
She looks up at me as her tears gently flow. "It's ironic, even in love Maggie is getting what she wants. He won't kick Glenn out because of her, and doesn't take into consideration that some-one else might be involved."

"Don't talk that way, he did say he was behind us."

"I know that, and I am so grateful to know it but it's … I just want more."

"You mean …?"  
"No, not that … not yet anyway. I want us to be able to lay in bed together and hold each other like lovers, I want to feel your skin on my cheek without people thinking we're sneaking around when we're not."

"I feel that way too."

"I want to feel your arms around me, holding me tight. I want to feel your breath on my skin when you're asleep … damn it, I want the fairy tale love story too!"

I tilt her face to mine and place a soft lingering kiss on her lips. "We will find a way to make this work."  
"Okay." I let her go and get up. "You're going out tonight?"  
"I need to, with the recent walkers coming around I need to check on things. I haven't been out recently, and I need to."

"Please be careful out there."  
"I will."

I look back at her as I leave, closing the door behind me. There has to be something more, something that we can do.

I arrive back at dawn break, the towel and water waiting on me. Reaching out, I lift the towel and take a deep breath … thank you Beth. I wash off before anyone can see me and head to the porch. There's an argument ensuing inside between Hershel and Beth, what now. I open the screen door and step inside.

I follow the argument to the kitchen and stand there, looking at them. Beth notices me standing there and smiles. "You're back."  
"Just now."

She moves past Hershel and comes straight to me, putting her arms around my neck and placing a kiss on my lips. "Go on up, I'll be there shortly."

"Since when," Hershel growls.

"Daddy, this is what I was telling you about … trusting us like you trust Glenn and Maggie." She kisses my cheek as I step out of the room.

I go upstairs, listening to the argument as it gets louder. I go into her room and into the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror. Turning the water on, I finish washing up as I hear the door open. I look out and see Beth standing there. She smiles at me as she climbs into bed.

Turning the water off, I toss a towel over my shoulder and step out. "What was all that about or should I ask?"

"Let's just say I found my voice and said my peace."

"Do I even want to know?"  
"Not really."

"Do I have any shirts in here?"  
"No, come on to bed the way you are."

"Beth …"  
"Don't, just come to bed and let's go to sleep."

I turn the light out and walk over to the bed. I sit and take my boots off then socks before sliding into bed beside her. She fluffs the covers around us and lays her head on my bare chest. I hear the soft sigh come from her lips as she lifts her head.

"I'm glad you're all right."

She places a sweet lingering kiss to my lips before laying back down on my chest. I smile and run my hand through her hair. "Thanks for the water."  
"You're welcome," she yawns and drifts off.

I lay there, wondering about what I had stepped into. I have a feeling that come morning, I will find out.

My eyes finally drift closed as I fall fast asleep with her nestled against me.

Morning does finally arrive as I yawn and stretch, feeling her still pressed against me. I rise and lean over, placing a kiss on her cheek. "Morning."  
"Morning."

"Will you now tell me about what I walked in on."

"I made it plain and simple … you leave, I leave. No discussion, no anything. If he is willing to let Glenn stay, then he should be willing to let me go." She yawns and stretches, pressing her body to mine. "I'm not backing down."

"If what we have is going to drive a wedge between you and your father, how healthy is that? I know how much you love him."  
"I do, but I love you more."

I am startled to say the least by her affirmation of love. Have I been blinded by everything to not realize she is truly in love with me?

"I … I can't live without you. I just can't."  
"You won't have to." She runs her hand over my cheek. "You may not be able to say it now, but one day you will maybe say it. I am patient, I can wait. I just wanted you to know how I feel. I didn't want another day to go by without you hearing it."

I stretch out beside her and kiss her lips. My hand drifts down her side as she slides her arm around me. She feels good, she feels … normal. We feel normal, as normal as it gets these days.


	15. Chapter 15

I sit there, staring at her, noticing her puffy eyes from crying. Reaching my hand out, I brush her tears away with my thumb. She leans into my hand and smiles, lifting a shaking hand to her eyes. She dabs the tears away then presses a kiss into my palm. She leans forward and wraps her arms around me, snuggling against my chest as I hold her. I run my hand through her hair as I pull her into my arms. I lift her up and move to sit with my back against the pillows. I pull her into my arms and hold her as she lays there. She lays her head on my shoulder, looking at me as her hand grazes my cheek. I take her hand and press my lips to her palm and grip it gently. We sit there on the bed together, holding each other for a long time. Leaning my head back, I close my eyes for a moment as I hold her. I have never been so tired before in my life, and her presence is soft and soothing. The wolf is daring me to let it out tonight, to roam freely and kill whatever it finds. I push it down, thinking how I just need to rest for once.

Opening my eyes, I look over into hers and she smiles. She runs her hand over my cheek before pressing her lips gently to mine. My arms encircle her as I give in and let her kiss me. Our tongues dance together as I feel warmth and love radiate from her body. I didn't know I could feel love radiate, but from her it does. It comes from her every pore and it's all directed at me. Now, I understand all the flirting and talks and hand holding … Beth has fallen in love with me, and I am starting to fall in love with her. Our lips soon part as we look at each other. She reaches down and pulls the covers around us, sliding my arm around her waist as she lays on my chest. I am so tired, so very tired. Some-where in the foggy recesses of my mind, I feel the wolf yawn and stretch. Her presence is even lulling it to sleep, and I appreciate it very much.

My eyes drift shut finally as I hear her reach over and turn the lamp off.

When morning finally comes, I awake to find Beth still in my arms and fast asleep. I lay there for a long moment, looking at her nestled to me. I bring my hand up and rub hair from her face as the door creaks open gently. Patricia pops her head in and smiles.

"Are you hungry yet?"  
"No," I croak out before clearing my throat.

"Whenever you two are ready, breakfast will be waiting in the stove."  
"Thanks." I watch her pull the door shut as my eyes drift back shut.

I open my eyes a second time, this time more awake than before and sit up. Beth comes walking out of the bathroom dressed in regular clothes. She sits on the side of the bed and runs her hand over my face. "I guess we both needed to sleep."  
"I guess we did, what time is it?"

"Almost 230p."  
"You are kidding."

"Nope. I heard Patricia come in and looked at the clock when you drifted back off, it was 630a then. I laid there for a long time, watching you sleep before I drifted back off. I woke up just a few minutes ago."

"I didn't know I was so tired."  
"Me either. I think we were both as much physically drained as we were emotionally."

"We might be in trouble too."

"Hey, if anyone poked their head in they would have seen we were both fully clothed and nothing funny was going on. I hope Patricia stressed that to daddy."

"Me too."

The door opens as Maggie appears, she looks flustered about something. "I need your help, both of you. We have a problem."  
"Which is?"

"Sometime during the night, it rained really hard and now the truck is sinking in mud," Maggie finally lets out. "How are we going to get it out?"

I get up and follow Beth downstairs and outside. Everyone is standing around the truck, almost up to the wheel wells in mud. We walk down into the yard and over to everyone. I look from T-Dog to Dale, both shrug.

"We think it might be on a sink hole, but it stopped," Dale muses. "We have rope, but we don't have the strength or power. Daryl's bike couldn't get traction."

"We need some horse power to pull it," T-Dog muses.

"You two sleep well?" Hershel asks.

"We did, thanks for letting us," I mention.

"If you two can sleep till now, then you must have needed it," Patricia chuckles. "Maybe Nelly can help us."

"That's it!" Beth giggles and hugs me. "Like T-Dog said, we need HORSE power to pull it free and I know just the one."

"Beth, we haven't seen him since all this started. He could be dead or out roaming free, or he could have been someone's dinner," Hershel reminds her.

"Yea well, we can hope can't we," Beth comments and climbs onto the truck. She places her fingers to her lips and lets out a series of shrill whistles, which cause my ears to ring. She looks down at me sheepishly. "Sorry, it's the only thing he answers to."

"And who would that be?" I ask, rubbing my ears.

After several long quiet moments, the deepest and loudest neighing ever hits the air. Everyone looks around as Beth claps. "Here he comes!"

We turn and look as a LARGE black mass comes towards us. The closer it gets, the more I feel vibrations in the ground. Whatever it is has weight, has strength and doesn't mind tossing it around. The deep neighing reverberates through the stillness as the form turns into a large dark brown and white horse with hairy hooves.

"What the hell," Dale whistles.

"Bill!" Beth laughs.

"Well I'll be, it's Bilbo," Hershel grins.

"Bilbo," Andrea and Glenn say.

"Here he comes."

We watch as the large horse comes trotting across the yard, and the vibrations of his move-ments cause the wolf in me to cower suddenly. I run my hand over my face and climb up onto the truck with her. I wrap my arms around her as the large stallion continues to move expeditiously towards us. He finally arrives and rears up, whinnying louder than anything I've heard. He drops and stomps the ground several times, bobbing his head up and down. He walks over as Beth slides onto his back.

"Come on." She takes my hand and pulls me over with her. "Toss me the rope." T-Dog tosses the rope up and she hands it to Bill. He takes it in his mouth and moves to the front of the truck. "Okay Bill, you need to work now. Pull Bill, pull!"

The horse rears and stomps the ground, about knocking everyone off their feet. He begins to move out the rope length, then it catches. He snorts and begins to pull … and I feel every muscle in his body pulling. His hooves dig into the ground as he continues pulling. He maintains his grip on the rope as his hooves stomp and he pulls harder.

"I can feel his muscles working," I tell her. "He is amazing."

"Hold on," she grins. Bill lowers his head and closes his eyes briefly. Suddenly, his head snaps up and he rears. "Second gear, that was first."

"Second gear," T-Dog whistles and rubs his hand over his face.

"Pull Bill, pull!" Beth laughs.

The horse stomps the ground and starts walking, and I literally mean walking. Every muscle in his body is stretched tighter than a drum head as he walks, pulling the truck. I look back and see the truck moving, coming up from the mud as he works. A second later, the truck pops up out of the mud as Bill walks it off, shaking. He holds the rope and turns left, pulling the truck away from the mud and over to the level ground of the driveway. He drops the rope and rears, the deep whinnying echoing around him. He stomps the ground then turns back to look at us for some reason.

He walks over and head butts Hershel then snatches Dale's hat off his head before dropping it on T-Dog's. His tail flicks as he head butts Maggie into Glenn's arms before we start trotting. I place my hands on Beth's hips as I feel him pick up speed.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"Anywhere he wants to," Beth giggles as Bill shoots off.

For such a large animal, he has got SPEED. He tears around the house several times before running straight at everyone, causing them to scatter. He barrels forward, scattering chickens as he high-hurdles the fence and scatters the cows. He stands in the middle of the field and rears, whinnying loudly before dropping me and Beth off onto the ground hard. He flicks his tail, looks at us then bolts off running.

We sit there as he tears off at a dead run then abruptly turns and comes back. "Get up hurry! Hold your hands out to catch his mane!"

We rise to our feet as he blisters past, both of us grabbing his mane and pulling ourselves onto his back. Somehow, I get in front of Beth as she grips my waist. I hold onto his mane like reins and … do something crazy. "Run Bill, run," I lean over and tell him.

He snorts and we lurch forward, scattering cows, clearing fences and scattering chickens. He runs through the crowd at breakneck speed with us barely hanging on. He barrels towards the main fence and clears it with no issues. We streak across the main pasture as we pass walkers like they were nothing. We clear another fence then come to a skidding halt at the road. He turns and heads back the way we came.

As we get to the walkers, he slows as we get closer. He moves up beside one and uses his front hoof to kick the head off somewhere in the distance. He does that for each walker before barreling back towards the main fence. He jumps it and races through the yard before coming to a screeching halt and sitting abruptly, us sliding off his back onto the ground. He rises, snorts and takes off running again for the back pasture at breakneck speeds again. He stops, turns, rears and whinnies before vanishing over the hill.

"That was his way of saying you're welcome," Beth laughs as I help her stand.

"He is amazing," I whistle.

"He's my baby," Beth grins. "Who wants lunch? I am about to starve."

"Me too," I tell her as we head inside.

"Inquiring minds want to know what the hell that was," Carol comments.

"Bilbo, half Drum half Clydesdale," Hershel explains, "nothing but a pure working machine."

"When I was sitting on his back, I could feel every muscle in his body pulling and working. He's an amazing animal," I whistle softly. "He made me feel quite …"

"Small," Hershel grins as Patricia brings out sandwiches. "He makes everyone feel small and feeble."  
"When we were out running, we blazed past several walkers and when he turned around, we were trotting. He saddled up next to a walker and used his right leg to kick the head off. He did that to every walker, kicked their heads off like they were nothing."  
"In other words 'right turn Clyde'," Beth giggles softly.

"That's one way to explain it," I chuckle.

"Why did you name him Bilbo?" Dale asks, taking a bite of his sandwich.

"He was the runt," Maggie chuckles through chewing.

We all turn and look outside at the truck then back to her then to Beth.


	16. Chapter 16

"What are you doing back here Shane!"

"Lori just couldn't think about us being happy without Carl, so she made me turn around and come back. She's up at the house trying to talk some sense into him."

"So, you decided to come out here and hunt for me, is that it?"

"Lori told me everything after we left, about how you been changing. Is it true, are you this damn wolf that's been hanging around?"

"You better believe it!"

Shane backs away and draws his knife. "Well, maybe we should end this between you and me. That way, Lori won't have to choose."

"Deal." I snarl then something snaps in me and I howl. I drop my gaze on him as he backs up. "What's wrong, can't handle it?"  
"Dude, your eyes are gold! And your hands! What the hell are you!"

"Death's retribution!"

We lunge at one another, he starts slashing me with the blade as my claws rip into his clothes. We fight and fight hard, both of us passionate about the women we love … I love Beth and he loves Lori. He knows I've moved on from Lori, but he can't handle the fact that MY son chose to be with me over HIM. That's my boy!

He head butts me and we fall on the ground, rolling around. His knife slashes into me as my claws rip into him. I kick him off as we continue to fight. We're both raging with anger and hate for one another, I can smell it on him. He's trying to usurp my control of the pack, my control of the group … he's wanting to dominate and be the alpha male. He could never do it, he's not a leader … he's a poser.

We continue fighting, claws rending and knife slashing. We grapple and he drives the knife into my side. I snarl and grab his hand, ripping the knife loose from his hand. I wrap my arm around his throat and turn him around.

"I loved you man, I loved you and trusted you!" I tell him. "You betrayed me!" Tears roll down my cheeks as I drive the knife into his chest. "I loved you brother."

"I love you too brother," he tells me softly as he dies.

I lower him down to the ground and hold him, rocking him in my arms. "Damn it Shane, why! Why!"


End file.
